Many jobseekers dread this time of year. Holiday parties with family and friends all awkwardly wondering if you’ve found a job yet, and if you haven’t–you really just don’t want to talk about it.

I totally get that.

But you’ve got to find a way to put a positive spin on it. The job market’s tough–no one is contending that. There’s more opportunities now than in prior months, but that also means there’s far more applicants. No one is going to doubt that you’ve been putting in your time on your job search, or walking away from you believing that you’re a loser.

However, here’s a few tips you can use to solicit help and get them as excited about your future as you are.

1. Talk about what you do in terms of “I’m the person who…”. My #1 complaint with jobseekers is that when they introduce themselves, they do it in the framework of how they view themselves–what makes sense to them, rather than what will resonate with their listener.

Example: “I’m a business analyst, I worked at Pitney Bowes for 20 years, and now I’m looking for work.”

Problem: Your listener may have absolutely no idea what a business analyst does. Do you think they’re going to ask you something that you made seem so obvious? They’ll just nod their head, wish you the best, and move on.

Solution: When you introduce yourself, or the kind of position you’re looking for–frame it as the answer to “I’m the person who”…put a picture in people’s minds of what you do, what problems you solve. Give them something memorable, and make it easy for them to ask you more questions to get to know you.

I always give the example of introducing myself as a career coach when I started this business…and seeing it go WHOOSH over people’s heads. They didn’t get it. When I changed my intro to resume writing, job interview coaching and job search coaching–I saw the PING of recognition. People knew what those things were–they GOT IT! And conversations would go from there. Which brings me to my second point…

2. Look like you want the job you’re looking for. Too many times jobseekers (and I’ve seen small businessowners do this as well introduce themselves in a flat, monotone, unexcited tone of voice. Why would I help you get a job, or become a client if it doesn’t sound like you want to be doing that?

Put some energy into your introduction, make your eyes light up, show that you really LOVE what you do, bring out your passion! Be excited–this isn’t high school where you’re labeled a “geek” for showing a genuine interest in something. I guarantee people will love you even more for it!

How I’ve seen this work: Recent college grads who attend my networking groups are ALWAYS cleaning up on job leads. WHY? Because they have that wide-eyed, I’ll try anything approach.

Another way: I was reviewing a client’s resume and we were talking about ways to position him in the market. I said “for example, some people describe themselves as the ones who can make order out of complete chaos and will take the projects no one else will touch.”

His eyes LIT UP! He said–THAT’S ME! I LOVE doing that, that’s just the kind of job I’m looking for because I’ve done it in all my other jobs. THAT’S what people need to see to make you memorable, that’s what also needs to be on your resume to position yourself differently from other candidates.

3. Read your audience: Again, be in tune to the person you’re talking to and you’ll pick up subtle body language cues. Are their eyes wandering around the room, are they shifting from foot to foot, are their eyes even glazing over? Change your introduction, think of a “war story” about your old job, ask them questions about themselves. Do something to change the conversation and have them remember you as interesting and witty, rather than human-wallpaper.

4. Be clear about what you’re looking for: If you’re trying to get a lead into a specific company because you’ve always wanted to work there, use that to jumpstart your conversation, and you may be able to introduce the other company names on your list as well. You want to give people a clear understanding of what you do–but also be open to any suggestion they give you.

5. Accept every suggestion: It’s an improv comedy rule, but it works in real life too. People will make stupid suggestions about your job search. It will happen–but they mean well. You need to accept whatever idea people give you with a genuine smile and keep the conversation going. I’ve seen it many times where people’s first suggestion is pretty useless, but their second suggestion is pure gold! Do NOT feel the need to painfully correct them if you don’t like their first idea, accept it, move on. And be ready for their 2nd or 3rd–and recognize that they’re just trying to help.

People want to help you–try these suggestions to make it easy for them to do just that.

Now–let’s go get some jobs!!!